Fighting the Right Way

Confession.

I struggle with perfection. 

So much so that I spent most of last year hiding my mess from God. I found it hard to go to God with my struggles. My (inner) battles. I was convinced He didn't want to see nor  know about them; that He wanted me to have it all together. I thought I had to fight alone, which I tried a couple of times and every time I lost miserably; even if I started on a good note, it was never long before I failed. It didn't matter how determined I was or how much preparation I had, the result was always the same. Failure. My continuous failure took away whatever willpower I had to continue fighting and so I gave up.

 But now I realise that I was believing a series of lies. 

First, I was convinced that God didn't want me to share my mess with Him but I realise now that with intimacy comes vulnerability. If I was in close fellowship with God, which I wasn't, I would have known that He wanted me to tell Him about my mess and ask Him for help. Just as we tend to open up more, the more we know a person, so it is with God. The deeper our relationship with Him is, the more likely that we'll share our very hearts with Him. 

Secondly, I thought I could conceal my struggles but now I realise that there is no point in hiding anything from God because He knows and sees it all (Hebrews 4:13, Psalm 139). Inside of hiding things from God, we should be taking these things to Him and asking Him for power to overcome them. Praying for conviction also otherwise our hearts become hardened.   

Thirdly, I assumed that God didn't understand me nor my struggles but now I realise that He knows my frame. After all He made me. God knows both our strengths and weaknesses. I know that I need His help and for me to think that He doesn't want to help me is very wrong; after all Christ came at a time when we were utterly helpless (Romans 5:6). Without His strength, if we don't rely on the Holy Spirit, we will eventually fail. It is the Holy Spirit who enables us to overcome the power of sin through Christ (Romans 8:2).

Finally, although I knew that God's love for me was unconditional, I believed that He surely couldn't love the mess that I was. But God loves us so so much. I found and still find this the hardest truth to grasp fully. God's love for the individual is so vast! When I lost my battles, I somehow thought that I had let God down and that He probably didn't want anything to do with me. I was a failure after all. However, He loves me despite my faults. He loved me when I was His enemy and His love for us all was revealed in Jesus' death on the cross (Romans 5:8). If He loved me so then, what more now that I am His child? God's love for me isn't a blank cheque to sin as much as I want, it's actually the contrary. His love for me should motivate me to love Him back, and that means keeping His commandments (Romans 6, John 14:15-26; 15:10-17; 1John 2:5).

So to make a long story a bit short, God is teaching me to fight the right way. With Him. We are not meant to fight our battles on our own, don't make the mistake I made. Invite Him in. You can only kill a Goliath with a stone when you know whose you are and Who is on  your side!

This song by Steffany Gretzinger: Out of Hiding (Father's Song) summarizes what I just wrote perfectly. I also love this song by Positive on a similar theme: Two Man Army. Last but not least this beautiful sermon by Kim Walker Smith (I didn't even know that she preached??!!): The Art of Vulnerability. Check them out!

What lies have you believed about battles? What truths has God shown you? Leave a comment below!

Blessings 💜

Relationship Series Part 1: Eggshell

I suppose I can say that I grew up in church. I remember going as a kid and I continued to as I grew older. I was surrounded by Christianity not only in church but in school too. So, what I knew about God was mainly from Sunday school, youth group and school. My knowledge and understanding of God developed more in Suriname and Belgium between my late teens and early twenties. In this time, I began to understand God and the Bible more. God was no longer this far-off person and the Bible was no longer “that-book-that-I-couldn’t-understand”.

However, despite this progression, my life was not completely surrendered to Him. Sunday belonged for God and the rest of the week belonged to me. There was a disconnection between the girl who sat in church and the girl who swore and went clubbing until the wee hours of Sunday morning. I thought I could enjoy the best of both worlds but that was a lie from the very pit of hell. I blended in with other church folk externally but was empty on the inside, like an egg shell without it’s crucial internal components. Although I could fool others, I could not fool God. Christ was not the centre of my life.

It’s only by God’s wonderful mercy that I got out of that pit. He placed people in my path that planted seeds of truth that led to my liberty. 

I wrote this post to remind and warn that being a church-goer or in an open relationship with God isn’t real Christianity. The devil wants us to believe that it is okay to love both world and God; that we don’t need to choose one or the other. But that is such a big fat LIE! You can’t have the best of both worlds because you’ll love one and hate the other (Matthew 6:24), and loving the world is enmity with God (James 4:4). Choices have to be made, all or nothing choices. God wants all of us not just some of us. We are to love Him with everything that we are: all your heart, all your mind, all your strength and all your soul. 

So maybe you were once like me, and well I thank God that He got us out of that pit! Maybe you are in that pit now, if so, don’t lose hope! He got me out, He surely can do it for you too. All you need to do respond to His call for surrender and daily pick up your cross and follow Him. It doesn’t mean you won’t fall, you will but you’ll get up each time (Proverbs 24:16). 

Blessings

Sharing is Caring

The societies we are a living in, especially in the West, are evolving from ones that are concerned about others to ones that are individualized and closed. And as a result, we are becoming the kind of people that "mind our own business" in other words, people that are concerned only about themselves.

 This change and it's consequences are contrary to what God desires of us. Human beings are created in the image of God. God is a relational being and is greatly concerned about our welfare. So when we become less relational and more selfish, we are acting in an abnormal manner. One of the most important ways to show genuine care for others is by sharing the Gospel in word and in deed, God doesn't want us to live among the lost without caring enough to tell them about His love which was so richly expressed in Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection three days later.

In the years that I have been living in Belgium, I have found it hard to be an effective witness of Jesus not only because of the above mentioned reason. For the first two years, I was uncertain of my faith although I still sought God, it's not easy to talk about someone you don't know. After my baptism, it was mainly because I was afraid of what people would think of me if they knew that I believed or  I was not confident enough to start a conversation about the Gospel.

But last month, God had been speaking to me and teaching me about evangelism in so many ways.
- He encouraged me to not only know my faith but also share it and  He reminded me that I am His ambassador through whom many will come to know Him.
- He helped me understand that  it's not my job to convict and cause people to confess that Jesus is Lord but that my part is in planting the seed which He will tend and cause to grow.
- He showed me that each day is a day for salvation and that I should seize every opportunity that comes my way.
-  Although I can witness with my lifestyle, I can also do so with my mouth; after all, faith comes by hearing the Word of God. This to for me, has been the most important lesson because I had always relied more on my lifestyle to witness to people. However, I have also been given a mouth to speak words of life. One method is not better than the other, both a biblical and both should be used.
- Lastly, He made me realize that wherever and with whoever I am, I am there to witness.

 All this has been a lot to take in but the Holy Spirit both teaches and enables us to do good works of which evangelism is one. We can not witness in our own strength. Instead effective witnessing is a result of a rich relationship God which develops from spending time with Him, the knowledge of one's identity in Christ and a correct understanding of the Bible. The more I will know Him, the easier it will be to tell someone about Him. And the more I understand that I have not been given a Spirit of fear, the more I will not be ashamed to tell others about the Lord. Lastly, the more I understand the Bible, the better I will explain the faith.

The sharing of the Gospel to a single person has a ripple effect, like that which is seen when a stone is thrown in a lake with each subsequent wave growing larger, it not only affects the person in which the seed was planted but also his/her lineage and  the lineage of others around him/her.

What greater gift is there to give to someone than the message of eternal life because of God's love displayed in Jesus' death and resurrection?

Now is the time of salvation! Be bold, be silent no more!



How has God been using you to draw people to Himself? What do you find difficult about the sharing the Gospel? Which songs inspire you to evangelize?

Two songs that have greatly inspired me about witnessing are Tell The World by Lecrae ft Mali Music and  Build Your Kingdom Here by Rend Collective. 

Check out these devotionals from Our Daily Bread about evangelizing:
Evie's Decision
A Pleasing Aroma